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Category: MMS
2011′s Christmas Joke
Three good ole boys died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter
at the pearly gates.
‘In honor of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each
possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’
The cowboy from Texas fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a
lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It represents a candle’, he said.
‘You may pass through the pearly gates’ Saint Peter said.
The logger from Minnesota reached into his pocket and pulled out a set
of keys. He shook them and said, ‘They’re bells.’
Saint Peter said ‘You may pass through the pearly gates’.
The old Fighter pilot from Georgia started searching desperately
through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, ‘And just
what do those symbolize?’
The old fighter pilot replied, ‘These are Carols.’
And So The Christmas Season Begins……
Top 12 reasons why your friends may have voted Democratic]
Subject: top 12 reasons why your friends may have voted Democratic
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This is funny and sad. When your “friends” cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list. They can then pick their reasons from this “TOP 12″… 1. I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being slaughtered so long as we keep all death row inmates alive. 2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. 3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. 4. I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. 5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius. 6. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t. 7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits. 8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit. 9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters. 10. I voted Democrat because I think that it’s better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher. 11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised “HOPE AND CHANGE”. 12. I voted Democrat because my face is so firmly planted in my a$$, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.
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Chevy Truck
Chevy Truck?
I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new Silverado 1500 pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive.. I wanted to sense that new “feel” before they become extinct.
The salesman (a black man wearing an Obama “change” lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing the truck and all its “wonderful” options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.
Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.
Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck. I explained that if it were an Obama truck, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.
I had to walk back to the dealership…damn guy had no sense of humor.
